Getting real


If possible, the last week has sort of brought the BRCA1 aspect of my life back into focus for me. Despite Angelina and the SCOTUS ruling, I've managed to keep my focus elsewhere due to my baby.

I received my diagnosis when she was just 3 months old and one of the things I found out was that I couldn't move forward with mammograms or MRIs (the recommended screening methods) until I had been done breast feeding for 6 months.

I nursed my older daughter until she was 6 months old and wanted to do at least the same for my new baby. So I pushed through a couple work trips with the pump. I passed 6 months and it was just easier (and cheaper, let's be honest). So I kept going. But I knew in the back of my mind that I was also putting off the inevitable.

So on July 4, 2013, my baby declared her independence. Like my one friend so aptly put it, she acted like my nipples were "poison darts." It was painful, both physically and mentally for me. I missed it like I didn't think I would. I cried a little.

It's an emotional thing, breast feeding your baby. I never thought I would be attached. I never thought I would cherish those 2 am feedings when all she needed was me. When my breasts were nothing but good.

But it's as if she knew. July 11 was my first screening appointment. It was just a doctor visit and normal exam. But with the self weaning, it is also a countdown, a starting point for my next appointment in 6 months. On January 9, I'll be back at Penn for the real deal.

So maybe my angel baby just knows what's best for me.